We arrived home this evening about 5:15. The trip was 1,370 miles from start to finish.
Today went smoothly. We left our hotel in Forrest City, AR about 8:45 this morning. We traveled through Arkansas and then into Texas. We made several stops along the way, but made the trip without major incident.
Tonight when we arrived home, my wife had dinner waiting for us. My sister-in-law, her two sons and daughter-in-law joined us as well. It was a nice reunion and we had a nice time together.
It has been a long day and I am tired, but I am glad that we are here safely and I'm looking forward to a week long visit with them.
I probably won't make anymore posts on this subject until June 8th when I begin the road trip back to Pennsylvania with them.
Showing posts with label Caring for Elderly Parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Caring for Elderly Parents. Show all posts
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Ed's Elder Escort Service
Today, I left my home in Texas to fly to Pennsylvania to drive my mother-in-law and her husband to Texas to visit our family for a week. My mother-in-law, Jane, is 83 years old. After being widowed for almost 20 years, she remarried 5 years ago. Her new husband had also been widowed for almost 20 years. His name is Francis and he will be 83 next month.
When they married they both enjoyed good health and traveled between his home in northern Virginia, her home in PA and Florida. Three years ago, Francis had a serious medical problem and since, their travel has been more limited. He no longer wants to fly, so I agreed to fly up to PA and drive them to Texas and back and then I will fly home. The trip is 1,350 miles each way. Normally, my family and I make this trip in two days. With my in-laws, we decided to take three days.
Our plan was to leave PA tomorrow morning and arrive in Texas Sunday afternoon/evening. Well, so much for planning. I am posting this blog from an hotel at Dulles Airport. My connecting flight into Johnstown, PA this evening was cancelled. I am scheduled on the first flight tomorrow morning which won't have me there until 9:30 a.m.
We still plan to leave tomorrow, but it will probably be closer to 11 a.m. before we leave Jane's house.
Our kids are looking forward to seeing them and I am hopeful the trip won't be too tiring for them and it will be enjoyable.
I'll post to this blog each evening and let you know how the trip is going and how Ed's Elder Escort service is working. Wish me luck!
When they married they both enjoyed good health and traveled between his home in northern Virginia, her home in PA and Florida. Three years ago, Francis had a serious medical problem and since, their travel has been more limited. He no longer wants to fly, so I agreed to fly up to PA and drive them to Texas and back and then I will fly home. The trip is 1,350 miles each way. Normally, my family and I make this trip in two days. With my in-laws, we decided to take three days.
Our plan was to leave PA tomorrow morning and arrive in Texas Sunday afternoon/evening. Well, so much for planning. I am posting this blog from an hotel at Dulles Airport. My connecting flight into Johnstown, PA this evening was cancelled. I am scheduled on the first flight tomorrow morning which won't have me there until 9:30 a.m.
We still plan to leave tomorrow, but it will probably be closer to 11 a.m. before we leave Jane's house.
Our kids are looking forward to seeing them and I am hopeful the trip won't be too tiring for them and it will be enjoyable.
I'll post to this blog each evening and let you know how the trip is going and how Ed's Elder Escort service is working. Wish me luck!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
God Sent an Angel Name Shirley
When it finally sunk in that Mother did not want to pursue any additional treatment for her cancer and that we wouldn't have that much longer with her, we knew that Hospice was the right choice for her. We were faced with the decision whether or not we could bring her back to our home (her home for the last 5 years) or if we needed to take her to a nursing home. Mother told me she would like to come home if my wife and I could care for her.
A sister visiting from the northwest was adamantly opposed to me taking Mother home with us. She was convinced I would be incapable of caring for her and that she might be harmed. A sister-in-law called me discouraging me from bringing Mother home. She had lost her own mother many years ago and was with her during her last days. She feared the negative impact having Mother at home with us would have on our three kids. Torn between this input from my family and my desire to satisfy my mother's wishes to come home, I agonized over the decision.
Over the next couple of days, I prayed, talked with my wife, other family members and many friends about the decision. My wife and I were in agreement that we would attempt to honor Mother's wishes and bring Mother home and see if we could care for her.
The day finally came for us to bring her home. I went to the hospital with my sister, who was still opposed to us bringing Mother back home. My wife stayed home to get our kids off to school.
While waiting for the paperwork to be finalized, my cellphone rang. I stepped out of Mother's room to take the call. After I finished the call, I noticed one of the hospital janitors looking at me. I had seen her several times over the past several days and often she would be running the vacuum cleaner when I stepped out of the room to take a phone call. She would always smile at me and turn off the vacuum cleaner until I was finished with my call.
She asked me if I was taking my mom home today. I told her we were with Hospice care. She told me that she had done the same thing for her mother-in-law about 5 years earlier. As we talked, I learned her name was Shirley.
Shirley had a very interesting story to tell. In many ways, it mirrored my own experiences. She and her husband had taken her mother-in-law into their home. She had lived with them for about 5 years when her mother-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer. They too had chosen to bring her back home and care for her with the help of Hospice.
Like us, they too had 3 children at home at the time. She told how she had stayed home to care for her mother-in-law and that it had been a wonderful experience. They had put a hospital bed in the living room for her mother-in-law. She told a story of how they had planned a big birthday celebration for her and that everyone in the trailer court came to wish her well. I thought, wow, this woman lived in a mobile home, took in her mother-in-law and felt blessed to have the opportunity to care for her. Given all of the material blessings God had given us including a nice house with an extra room for Mother, I knew bringing her home was the right thing to do.
After my wife got our kids to school, she came to the hospital. Not finding me in Mother's room, she started walking the halls looking for me. She found me hugging the janitor. I introduced her to Shirley and briefly shared Shirley's story with her.
Both my wife and I no longer had any doubts that we were doing the right thing by bringing Mother back home with us. It was if God sent an angel named Shirley to assure us we had made the right decision.
Postscript February 20, 2016
While shopping at our local Walmart, I noticed a cleaning lady coming out of the restrooms. As I walked past her, I smiled and nodded at her. She returned my smile and I noticed she was wearing a name tag that said, “Shirley”. I stopped and asked her if she had worked at Baylor Hospital. When she told me she had, I knew it was the same person.
I shared my story with her of the first time we met and how much she had meant to me. She told me that when she had started working at Baylor she had prayed that God would make her a blessing to people. I told her that her prayers had been answered and that I considered her an answer to my prayers.
How blessed I am to have been able to meet her and thank her in person for the wonderful blessing she had been to me over eight years ago. Just as God put her in my path 8 years ago, I’m convinced he again allowed us to meet to help me remember the many acts of kindness I have received and to focus me on committing those same acts for others.
A sister visiting from the northwest was adamantly opposed to me taking Mother home with us. She was convinced I would be incapable of caring for her and that she might be harmed. A sister-in-law called me discouraging me from bringing Mother home. She had lost her own mother many years ago and was with her during her last days. She feared the negative impact having Mother at home with us would have on our three kids. Torn between this input from my family and my desire to satisfy my mother's wishes to come home, I agonized over the decision.
Over the next couple of days, I prayed, talked with my wife, other family members and many friends about the decision. My wife and I were in agreement that we would attempt to honor Mother's wishes and bring Mother home and see if we could care for her.
The day finally came for us to bring her home. I went to the hospital with my sister, who was still opposed to us bringing Mother back home. My wife stayed home to get our kids off to school.
While waiting for the paperwork to be finalized, my cellphone rang. I stepped out of Mother's room to take the call. After I finished the call, I noticed one of the hospital janitors looking at me. I had seen her several times over the past several days and often she would be running the vacuum cleaner when I stepped out of the room to take a phone call. She would always smile at me and turn off the vacuum cleaner until I was finished with my call.
She asked me if I was taking my mom home today. I told her we were with Hospice care. She told me that she had done the same thing for her mother-in-law about 5 years earlier. As we talked, I learned her name was Shirley.
Shirley had a very interesting story to tell. In many ways, it mirrored my own experiences. She and her husband had taken her mother-in-law into their home. She had lived with them for about 5 years when her mother-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer. They too had chosen to bring her back home and care for her with the help of Hospice.
Like us, they too had 3 children at home at the time. She told how she had stayed home to care for her mother-in-law and that it had been a wonderful experience. They had put a hospital bed in the living room for her mother-in-law. She told a story of how they had planned a big birthday celebration for her and that everyone in the trailer court came to wish her well. I thought, wow, this woman lived in a mobile home, took in her mother-in-law and felt blessed to have the opportunity to care for her. Given all of the material blessings God had given us including a nice house with an extra room for Mother, I knew bringing her home was the right thing to do.
After my wife got our kids to school, she came to the hospital. Not finding me in Mother's room, she started walking the halls looking for me. She found me hugging the janitor. I introduced her to Shirley and briefly shared Shirley's story with her.
Both my wife and I no longer had any doubts that we were doing the right thing by bringing Mother back home with us. It was if God sent an angel named Shirley to assure us we had made the right decision.
Postscript February 20, 2016
While shopping at our local Walmart, I noticed a cleaning lady coming out of the restrooms. As I walked past her, I smiled and nodded at her. She returned my smile and I noticed she was wearing a name tag that said, “Shirley”. I stopped and asked her if she had worked at Baylor Hospital. When she told me she had, I knew it was the same person.
I shared my story with her of the first time we met and how much she had meant to me. She told me that when she had started working at Baylor she had prayed that God would make her a blessing to people. I told her that her prayers had been answered and that I considered her an answer to my prayers.
How blessed I am to have been able to meet her and thank her in person for the wonderful blessing she had been to me over eight years ago. Just as God put her in my path 8 years ago, I’m convinced he again allowed us to meet to help me remember the many acts of kindness I have received and to focus me on committing those same acts for others.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Hospice Done Well is a Beautiful Experience
The title of this post is a quote from a good friend. When my mom was first diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, there were many emotional decisions to be made. I called my friend who used to work for a large national hospice provider. Without hesitation, he recommended we choose hospice and told me that it could be a beautiful experience.
My mom, aged 87, did not want to pursue treatment for her cancer and was very much at peace with the decision to have hospice care. She told me she wanted to come back to our home (her home for the past 5 years) if my wife and I could take care of her. We brought her back home with us on January 5, 2008
With the support of a wonderful hospice company, Alpha Omega Hospice, we were able to keep Mother at home with us where she passed peacefully on April 5th. I can truly say, as strange as it may sound, "It was a beautiful experience."
Over the next several weeks, I hope to make posts about my personal experiences during those 3 months. I hope they will be helpful for others facing similar situations or who have lived through them. I know they will be cathartic for me.
My mom, aged 87, did not want to pursue treatment for her cancer and was very much at peace with the decision to have hospice care. She told me she wanted to come back to our home (her home for the past 5 years) if my wife and I could take care of her. We brought her back home with us on January 5, 2008
With the support of a wonderful hospice company, Alpha Omega Hospice, we were able to keep Mother at home with us where she passed peacefully on April 5th. I can truly say, as strange as it may sound, "It was a beautiful experience."
Over the next several weeks, I hope to make posts about my personal experiences during those 3 months. I hope they will be helpful for others facing similar situations or who have lived through them. I know they will be cathartic for me.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Grandma in the Home - A Lifechanging Experience
From April 1, 2003 through April 5, 2009, my mother lived with us in our home. Our family became the quintessential sandwich generation family. When Mother moved in with us, our children were 10, 8 and 5. Now that it's been over a year since she passed away at age 88, I have had the opportunity to reflect on what her presence in our home really meant to me and my family.
While there were certainly trying times with having another person in our home, the positive impact on my life, my wife's life and the lives of our children far outweighs any of the difficulties we experienced.
I would like to trade stories with others who either cared for an elderly parent in their home, are still providing care in their homes or are considering moving an elderly parent into their home.
While there were certainly trying times with having another person in our home, the positive impact on my life, my wife's life and the lives of our children far outweighs any of the difficulties we experienced.
I would like to trade stories with others who either cared for an elderly parent in their home, are still providing care in their homes or are considering moving an elderly parent into their home.
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