Ed's Elder Escort Service - Day 4

We arrived home this evening about 5:15. The trip was 1,370 miles from start to finish.

Today went smoothly. We left our hotel in Forrest City, AR about 8:45 this morning. We traveled through Arkansas and then into Texas. We made several stops along the way, but made the trip without major incident.

Tonight when we arrived home, my wife had dinner waiting for us. My sister-in-law, her two sons and daughter-in-law joined us as well. It was a nice reunion and we had a nice time together.

It has been a long day and I am tired, but I am glad that we are here safely and I'm looking forward to a week long visit with them.

I probably won't make anymore posts on this subject until June 8th when I begin the road trip back to Pennsylvania with them.

Ed's Elder Escort Service - Day 3

A successful day. Tonight we are in Forrest City, AR. We made it almost 600 miles today. Only 440 miles to travel tomorrow and we will be home.

After breakfast in the hotel, we left about 8:45 EDT this morning. We stop about every two hours and take a break. It breaks up the driving and gives Jane and Francis a chance to stretch.

We stopped for lunch in Horse Cave, KY at a family restaurant. There was a smoker in front and a typical-looking Kentuckian putting more meat in it when we arrived. He said he had just taken some fresh smoked meat into the restaurant. The smoked pork was delicious as were all of the side items.

We continued through Kentucky and Tennessee. I had hoped to make it as far as Memphis. We were in Memphis about 6 p.m. (we gained an hour with the time change to central time zone in the middle of Kentucky). Everyone was feeling good, so we continued west along I40 to the next town that had a Hampton Inn.

We ate dinner at the Ole Sawmill Cafe. It has a wonderful buffet which I enjoyed and Jane and Francis ordered off of the menu. We returned to the hotel about 8:30 and I brought the bags in and got Jane and Francis settled for the night. I am now in my room checking e-mails and updating my blog.

I think today was a good day. I enjoy driving and we saw some beautiful parts of our great country. I think Jane and Francis enjoyed the relaxing pace we took. Francis sleeps most of the time, but Jane and I have enjoyed visiting. For those of you who think spending 10 hours in a van talking to your mother-in-law would be a horrible experience, you don't know Jane. I am blessed to have such a wonderful person as my mother-in-law. I truly enjoy her company and spending time with her.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be another good day and my post will detail our trip home to Texas.

Ed's Elder Escort Service - Day 2

Well, last night found me stuck at the Holiday Inn at Dulles Airport. I had been rebooked on the first out this morning to Johnstown, PA. I was to arrive in Johnstown at 9:30 and I was hopeful we'd be on the road by 11 a.m.

Not. At a little after 8, we boarded the flight. The flight attendant completed her safety speech but had not yet closed the door. We heard the engines stop and it got very quiet. The pilot announced that we were on ground control hold due to weather conditions in Johnstown. A few minutes later, he asked us to deplane and return to the terminal. The estimated time of departure was now at 9:15. That time slipped to 9:30, then 9:45 and then 10:00.

I was in contact with my nephew who was going to come to the airport and pick me up. As the estimated departure time got later and later, I asked if he could help Grandma pack the van so she could drive to the Johnstown Airport herself since if he took me back to her house, we would need to return the 20 miles to Johnstown on our way to Texas. I told him I would text him the last thing before I turned off my cellphone on the plane and that he could ask Grandma to wait about 20 minutes and then head to the Johnstown Airport.

A little after 10, we reboarded the plane. As I was boarding the gate agent got a phone call. I overheard him say, "I've already boarded half the flight". He told me, "Don't worry. We're simply going to fly into Altoona first."

Altoona is about 25 miles east of my mother-in-law's home and Johnstown is about 20 miles west of her home. If I was flying into Altoona, she could simply meet me there instead. When I boarded the plane, the flight attendant assured me we were going to Johnstown first. She checked with the captain and with his confirmation, I texted my nephew after the door was closed and told him I was on my way to Johnstown.

The fog in Johnstown didn't lift and although the pilot flew to Johnstown, he could not land and announced we were being diverted to Altoona. When we landed in Altoona about 11:15 a.m., my mother-in-law was, of course, waiting for me at the Johnstown Airport. The airline had a bus waiting and we took the hour-long bus trip from Altoona to Johnstown.

We grabbed a bite to eat at the Johnstown Airport and got on the road about 1:30 p.m. Several hours later than I had hoped. My goal had been to reach Lexington, KY which was about 440 miles. I wasn't sure that goal was any longer attainable, but I was glad to be on the way.

We need to stop about every two hours. Our first stop was in Morgantown, WV - home of West Virginina University. Since none of us had ever seen the campus, we took the exit and drove to the stadium (the best marked signage). It is a nice stadium and the campus is very beautiful. We returned to the freeway with our next stop about 50 miles north of Charleston, WV. It was now 5:30 and I knew we couldn't make it to Lexington. I was hopeful we could make it past Charleston and we did.

Tonight we are in Ashland, KY about 115 miles east of Lexington. We are staying at a Hampton Inn which is very nice and reasonably priced. We had dinner at Bob Evans and are now ready for bed and to start all over again tomorrow morning.

In spite of the bumps, I think the day went well. It was good to see Jane and Francie. I think they are enjoying the trip and I will do my best to make it enjoyable.

I'm hopeful the travel gods smile on us more tomorrow than today. My goal is to make it as far as Memphis, TN.

Ed's Elder Escort Service

Today, I left my home in Texas to fly to Pennsylvania to drive my mother-in-law and her husband to Texas to visit our family for a week. My mother-in-law, Jane, is 83 years old. After being widowed for almost 20 years, she remarried 5 years ago. Her new husband had also been widowed for almost 20 years. His name is Francis and he will be 83 next month.

When they married they both enjoyed good health and traveled between his home in northern Virginia, her home in PA and Florida. Three years ago, Francis had a serious medical problem and since, their travel has been more limited. He no longer wants to fly, so I agreed to fly up to PA and drive them to Texas and back and then I will fly home. The trip is 1,350 miles each way. Normally, my family and I make this trip in two days. With my in-laws, we decided to take three days.

Our plan was to leave PA tomorrow morning and arrive in Texas Sunday afternoon/evening. Well, so much for planning. I am posting this blog from an hotel at Dulles Airport. My connecting flight into Johnstown, PA this evening was cancelled. I am scheduled on the first flight tomorrow morning which won't have me there until 9:30 a.m.

We still plan to leave tomorrow, but it will probably be closer to 11 a.m. before we leave Jane's house.

Our kids are looking forward to seeing them and I am hopeful the trip won't be too tiring for them and it will be enjoyable.

I'll post to this blog each evening and let you know how the trip is going and how Ed's Elder Escort service is working. Wish me luck!

God Sent an Angel Name Shirley

When it finally sunk in that Mother did not want to pursue any additional treatment for her cancer and that we wouldn't have that much longer with her, we knew that Hospice was the right choice for her. We were faced with the decision whether or not we could bring her back to our home (her home for the last 5 years) or if we needed to take her to a nursing home. Mother told me she would like to come home if my wife and I could care for her.

A sister visiting from the northwest was adamantly opposed to me taking Mother home with us. She was convinced I would be incapable of caring for her and that she might be harmed. A sister-in-law called me discouraging me from bringing Mother home. She had lost her own mother many years ago and was with her during her last days. She feared the negative impact having Mother at home with us would have on our three kids. Torn between this input from my family and my desire to satisfy my mother's wishes to come home, I agonized over the decision.

Over the next couple of days, I prayed, talked with my wife, other family members and many friends about the decision. My wife and I were in agreement that we would attempt to honor Mother's wishes and bring Mother home and see if we could care for her.

The day finally came for us to bring her home. I went to the hospital with my sister, who was still opposed to us bringing Mother back home. My wife stayed home to get our kids off to school.

While waiting for the paperwork to be finalized, my cellphone rang. I stepped out of Mother's room to take the call. After I finished the call, I noticed one of the hospital janitors looking at me. I had seen her several times over the past several days and often she would be running the vacuum cleaner when I stepped out of the room to take a phone call. She would always smile at me and turn off the vacuum cleaner until I was finished with my call.

She asked me if I was taking my mom home today. I told her we were with Hospice care. She told me that she had done the same thing for her mother-in-law about 5 years earlier. As we talked, I learned her name was Shirley.

Shirley had a very interesting story to tell. In many ways, it mirrored my own experiences. She and her husband had taken her mother-in-law into their home. She had lived with them for about 5 years when her mother-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer. They too had chosen to bring her back home and care for her with the help of Hospice.

Like us, they too had 3 children at home at the time. She told how she had stayed home to care for her mother-in-law and that it had been a wonderful experience. They had put a hospital bed in the living room for her mother-in-law. She told a story of how they had planned a big birthday celebration for her and that everyone in the trailer court came to wish her well. I thought, wow, this woman lived in a mobile home, took in her mother-in-law and felt blessed to have the opportunity to care for her. Given all of the material blessings God had given us including a nice house with an extra room for Mother, I knew bringing her home was the right thing to do.

After my wife got our kids to school, she came to the hospital. Not finding me in Mother's room, she started walking the halls looking for me. She found me hugging the janitor. I introduced her to Shirley and briefly shared Shirley's story with her.

Both my wife and I no longer had any doubts that we were doing the right thing by bringing Mother back home with us. It was if God sent an angel named Shirley to assure us we had made the right decision.

Postscript February 20, 2016 
While shopping at our local Walmart, I noticed a cleaning lady coming out of the restrooms. As I walked past her, I smiled and nodded at her. She returned my smile and I noticed she was wearing a name tag that said, “Shirley”. I stopped and asked her if she had worked at Baylor Hospital. When she told me she had, I knew it was the same person.

I shared my story with her of the first time we met and how much she had meant to me. She told me that when she had started working at Baylor she had prayed that God would make her a blessing to people. I told her that her prayers had been answered and that I considered her an answer to my prayers.

How blessed I am to have been able to meet her and thank her in person for the wonderful blessing she had been to me over eight years ago. Just as God put her in my path 8 years ago, I’m convinced he again allowed us to meet to help me remember the many acts of kindness I have received and to focus me on committing those same acts for others.

Hospice Done Well is a Beautiful Experience

The title of this post is a quote from a good friend. When my mom was first diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, there were many emotional decisions to be made. I called my friend who used to work for a large national hospice provider. Without hesitation, he recommended we choose hospice and told me that it could be a beautiful experience.

My mom, aged 87, did not want to pursue treatment for her cancer and was very much at peace with the decision to have hospice care. She told me she wanted to come back to our home (her home for the past 5 years) if my wife and I could take care of her. We brought her back home with us on January 5, 2008

With the support of a wonderful hospice company, Alpha Omega Hospice, we were able to keep Mother at home with us where she passed peacefully on April 5th. I can truly say, as strange as it may sound, "It was a beautiful experience."

Over the next several weeks, I hope to make posts about my personal experiences during those 3 months. I hope they will be helpful for others facing similar situations or who have lived through them. I know they will be cathartic for me.

My Second Mother's Day as an Orphan

As Mother's Day approaches next Sunday, I'm somewhat apprehensive about how I'll feel. Last year, Mother's Day was less than a month after Mother's funeral and I don't think I truly felt the impact. Now that I've been orphaned for over a year, there are times when it seems like she's been gone forever and other times, when I feel she's still with me.

Last night I was with my daughter at the Hallmark store helping her pick out a card for my wife. I looked at the "from son" section knowing that I would never be able to shop there again. It was somewhat sad, but nothing like last year when I had stopped at the same Hallmark store to pick up a card for my wife. I remember standing in line to buy the card and noticed the man standing in front of me who was about my age. I saw he had a card that read, "To Mom, with love from your son." When I saw that card, I felt like a knife had pierced my heart. I guess, time does heal all things.

I will try to make Sunday a celebration for the mother of my 3 kids. She is truly a wonderful wife and a great mother to our kids. I know she'll understand if there's a bit of sadness in my eyes, but I'll do my best to make sure my sadness doesn't dampen the celebration of the day for our kids.

For those of you who like me no longer have a mother to celebrate with, I hope your memories of the woman who gave you life are still cause to celebrate. If you still have a mother, make sure you take the time to let her know how much you love her and how special she is.